You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
