I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
