Porn is love you can see.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize