I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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