I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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