he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
