just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
