her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
