I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize