So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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