the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
