I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize