69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
