he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
