Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
