every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
