Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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