when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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