you guys were way drunker than both of me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
