then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
