Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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