I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
