Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
