Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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