i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
