listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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