What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
