You're so nebulous sometimes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
