i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
