i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize