so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
