we made out on top of his cat.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
