Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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