we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize