Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
