yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize