So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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