if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
