We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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