apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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