Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
