Do vagina's smell?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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