I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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