Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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