I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
FUCK WHALES
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
