On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
