just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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