yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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