On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
