We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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