Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we're so committed to being not committed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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