Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
