and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Panties = found
Randomize
