when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
as a side note pls kill me
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