I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize