she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it penis luge time yet?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
