is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
