oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
