sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
