I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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